


Good Families Don't

by anarchycox



Series: The Idiot Squad [6]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: All Hail Carol, Angst, Bonus Scenes, Fluff, Little Bit of Everything, Multi, Photo edits, Random bits and bobs, Smut, play lists, yes it will have some of percival's pdfs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-01-07 06:39:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12227598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Bonus scenes and things related to the Idiot Squad that don't fit in any of the stories.This mainly exists because of how many people have begged for Percival's PDFs.





	1. Game Convention

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻譯】Good Families Don't](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559904) by [sandykill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandykill/pseuds/sandykill)



"Roxy, darling, you know I am incredibly proud of you correct?" Percival said. They were together just off stage, watching Harry and Merlin.

"I fucked up, Dad," she said sadly. "My first big project in the marketing department and I fucked up."

"We needed a larger presence at conventions as the company grows," Percival reassured his daughter. "But perhaps you should have made the presentation?"

"I honestly thought they would behave," she protested.

"How?" Percival gave her a look. "You are smarter than that."

"They both love this new game!" Roxy said back. "They are just so passionate about this Valentine game and have worked their asses off. I thought that passion would translate well. And the 10 minutes of gameplay footage put up with them discussing it went fantastic."

"It did, and then you decided to let them answer some audience questions," Percival sighed. Harry and Merlin were bickering, Merlin having stolen the microphone from Harry. Percival was sure Merlin would start speaking pure coding language shortly. Harry's glare was growing.

Percival reminded himself now was not the time to be aroused by the stubborn look.

"Oh. Oh no," Roxy said. She ran onto the stage just as the two alphas growled and launched themselves at each other. The audience cheered as the two men rolled about the stage.

Roxy picked up the fallen microphone. "As you see, we at Kingsman Games are incredibly passionate about our work and translate that into bringing all of you the best game we possibly can. On the demo floor we have access to the first 20 minutes of the game as well as codes for when the game comes out for 3 alternate outfits for the main character. Thank you so much for coming to our talk." Roxy felt the men roll into her and gave her own growl rather forgetting to turn off the feed. "You are in your forties and own a company stop behaving like pups." They snarled and Roxy just started kicking until the separated. She growled again. "I swear to god, pack alpha or not I will kick your arse into next week."

"Try it," Merlin snarled, blood up. 

"Don't talk to my daughter like that," Harry growled back.

Percival went on the stage and grabbed the microphone from his daughter as the three postured at each other. "Alphas," he sighed into the feed. The whole audience laughed. "Pity me, I have to attempt to control them. I promise next year we will have manners."

The crowd booed at that idea.

The next year Kingsman Games had a huge line up waiting for their presentation, anxious to see what would happen this time.

Roxy was determined to disappoint them, that it would be professional and perfect.

She still didn't know how Harry and Merlin sneaked in the paint guns.


	2. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we go way back into the past

"009, if you would answer that would be spectacular," Merlin said into the comms.

"Sir, there has been no response for hours now," one of his assistants said quietly. They froze when Merlin turned his gaze on them. He growled low in his throat and everyone in the room bared their necks to him. 

"009, has always returned. Always, and this will nae be different. Now get me some fucking coffee and hack the systems."

"Sir, it's a level of security none of us have seen before. We don't have the coding to -"

"Then write new codes," Merlin snapped.

"None of us can," they admitted.

"Fine," Merlin nodded. "You, there!" He pointed and a man came up. "Every channel you can think of you try to raise 009."

"Yes-s-s, sir," the man grabbed a headset and started talking into it.

Merlin moved to a different computer. "We don't have the capability my ass," he muttered and began to type. Hours passed and he didn't notice, didn't care. Coffee cups were put beside him and he didn't noticed when they were taken away and replaced. The man was growing hoarse, just saying  _009 please check in_ , over and over onto every available channel. Merlin couldn't feel his fingers anymore but he kept typing, creating an entire language just because Harry Hart had gone missing, yet again.

And then it was done and Merlin was in the system. He put it up on the big screen.

"Sir," someone said in awe.

"Find him," Merlin ordered and people jumped and began searching cameras, and records for any hint of 009. He went to the loo and threw up until it was dry heaves. He cleaned his mouth and hands and went to his office and pulled a small lock box from his desk and opened it up and took the 'energy' pills that were in a lovely grey area of legality. Mostly not. It took a few minutes but then they kicked in and he felt more awake. He knew he had about another 3 hours of functionality and then he would crash hard. He hoped that it would be enough.

"I think we maybe have him," someone said. "They have cameras on this one door, and five guards. Can't see the person in there but if we switch to heat signature we can see one person in there and well -" They pointed.

"Harry," Merlin whispered.

"You can't be sure," a man said.

"I can. That is 009. Extraction. Request from M an extraction," Merlin ordered. 20 minutes later it came down that the order was denied, having this group distracted with holding Harry, meant other teams were able to work elsewhere.

"Fuck that," Merlin said. The drugs were in full force now and it felt like his very atoms wanted to jump out of his skin. "Ready me a plane," he ordered.

"Sir?"

Merlin roared. "Ready me a plane." The scent that was pouring off of him was terrifying. They all scrambled to obey. Merlin went a floor down and loaded a bag with gear and guns. 004 was there and just nodded. The two men flew to Spain.

004 made sure to stay out of Merlin's way, frankly terrified. He had no idea their Q was capable of this. But this wasn't just a quartermaster, this was a high alpha in full scent and rage. There had long been rumours about 009 and Q, two alphas who seemed incredibly in sync. He watched as Q just snarled and threw himself at a man. He bit out his throat. 004 made sure that his cameras only caught half the damage Q was doing.

Merlin found the room and killed the guards in front of it without thought. He realized he need a palm scan and cut off a hand of a dead man and held it to the screen. He opened the door and the song Freebird came pouring out of the room.

Harry sat on the chair perfectly calm, like he was just waiting for the arrival of tea. He smiled politely. "Q," he greeted.

"009, ye were late for check in," Merlin replied.

"My apologies," Harry answered. His scent was rough, bitter, broken. Merlin could see the tremor in his hands. 

"Turn away for a moment 004," Merlin ordered. He went over and nuzzled Harry imprinting his scent on the man just a little. "Harry, I'm here. I'm here and we are leaving."

Harry's hands gripped Merlin's tactical gear. "The song has been playing the whole time, unending loop. They found out about the incident and -"

"I'm here," Merlin soothed and tried to envelope Harry in his scent as much as he could. "I will keep ye safe. Like I promised, like I swore, agent."

"Keep me safe because I am your friend, not because you are my handler," Harry whispered. "I...I can't do this anymore."

"Ye need to do it long enough for us to get out of here," Merlin said firmly. "Ye need to stand. Now." He bit at Harry's neck, just a little nip, to help the man focus. 

Harry stood and 004 handed him a gun. Harry nodded and as new guards came at them they fought their way out. They made it to the plane and headed for London.

M chewed them out for 2 hours and offered them commendations.

Merlin lit the papers on fire. 

They both resigned effective immediately.

When M threatened them, Merlin showed the files he had as a safety measure. Things England would never want the population to know. M agreed to let them go without sanction.

They went to Harry's flat and slept for days in the same bed.

They realized how broken they were.

Merlin mentioned that he technically had an estate in the country, that they could go to, to recover. Not too far outside London.

Harry thought it sounded like a good idea.


	3. first rut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy is 14 and has her first full rut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS AHEAD: ALL THE WARNINGS  
> This is an a/b/o universe so events get handled a little differently than they are in our universe.  
> Roxy is 14 here. She will not be having sex.  
> But Merlin will be present at a certain point during her first rut.  
> IT IS NON SEXUAL BETWEEN THEM THOUGH SHE IS DEALING WITH A BIOLOGICAL/SEXUAL SITUATION.  
> Again just to be clear this is roxy's first rut, she is 14, merlin will end up in the same room as her while she is taking care of herself but it is never sexual between the two.   
> So I get it if you need to skip this chapter.

"We aren't prepared," Harry said as he and Merlin sat in the car. Percival had gone into the school to retrieve Roxy from the nurses office. When they got the call that her first full rut had finally happened all three of them said they were going to be out of the office for the next few days. They figured the company would be fine, and if it wasn't they didn't care Roxy needed them.

"We are," Merlin said, but his white knuckle grip on the wheel suggested that was a lie.

"She..." Harry wiped a hand over his mouth. "She started puberty early and then it just stalled. Thought we were going to have to deal with this a year ago." Harry closed his eyes. "Why don't we know any female alphas?"

"Because they are a small percent of the population, alpha-a even more so," Merlin said. "Would ye like to know the statistics?"

"Really wouldn't," Harry replied. "Shit, we don't even have lube for her or a training sheath or -"

"We do, we have for two years," Merlin interrupted.

"You know how Mother regularly bitches you out for being a crap pack alpha?" Harry looked at Merlin. "You know she's dead wrong right?"

"Aye," Merlin looked out the window. "There they are."

Percival had a hand on Roxy's neck and Roxy was flushed and looking ragged. Percival opened the back door and helped her in and then went around to sit beside her. Harry choked on the scent of alpha in first rut. It was acrid and harsh, filling their throats with anger and confusion and lust. Harry had no idea what to do for Roxy and it broke his heart. He was her alpha stepfather, he should have words or something. "Roxy?" Harry asked.

"Fuck off," she growled at him.

Harry was silent. Percival tried to hug her and she snarled. Merlin looked in the mirror at Roxy and could see she was trying not to cry. He pulled out of the school lot and drove to their city flat. He pulled into the garage and looked at Harry and Percival.

"Get out," he told them.

"We agreed we were all going to the estate," Percival said. The flat was a good size, but they all had agreed that Roxy would want a little more privacy than the flat had.

"We are going to the estate, Roxy and I," Merlin said. "You two will wait here."

"No," Percival growled a bit, but it didn't register with all the alpha stink filling the car. "I'm not leaving my daughter."

Harry looked at everyone. "Roxy?" 

She just snarled and pressed a hand to her crotch trying to stop the hurt. She then curled into herself hideously embarrassed that she just felt herself up a little a few inches away from her father. "Go away," she begged.

Merlin looked at Percival and put a hand on his heart. "I swear as your pack alpha, to do nothing but protect and respect your pup. No harm will happen to her under my care. But right now, I'm the one in the car who understands what she's going through the most. Ye need to trust me, and let us go alone."

"Harry?" Percival asked. Harry was an alpha too and would know what was best.

Harry looked at his mate. "I trust Merlin. Implicitly and forever." Harry looked at Merlin. "And he knows if he harms my daughter in anyway, I'll eat his still beating heart."

Merlin smiled at that. "Get going you two, she needs her room."

Percival fought the arms that Roxy tried to keep him away with and kissed her head. "I am a text away, my girl," he whispered and got out of the car not waiting for Harry, knowing if he paused he would try to stay. Harry gave Merlin one last look and got out of the car.

Merlin opened the windows, Roxy's scent was making it hard to breath. He then put on some AC/DC and began to drive fast.

"You hate this band," she said. At this point she was lying down on the back seat.

"Aye, but angry music helps right now," he said. "Ye've read all the books and paid attention in sex ed, correct?"

"Yeah," she said. "It hurts."

"It does, it always does," Merlin answered. "It will wane some as you get older, but ruts for alpha-a can be quite painful without a mate."

"You don't seem to hurt." Roxy said.

"I do," he answered. "I just...I can hide it. I learned to hide it."

"How?"

"I had to. That's a story for another time, pup," he said. "Knot sheaths. Ye know how they work?"

"Yup," she answered. "And you need them."

"You do," he agreed. He was driving very fast now that they were out of the city. "If you come without the sheath, the knot will try to keep expanding, with no opposing force to stop it. A sheath, if you don't have a partner is vital. And I am not procuring a partner for my 14 year old pack pup. You want to tap someone at some point, ye can get that on your own."

Roxy laughed at that. "I haven't kissed anyone yet. Been too busy with school and footie."

"Being alone isn't that bad."

"Dad and Harry are happy."

"No, the are the happiest thing ever. Makes ye want to puke," he winked in the mirror. "Almost home Roxy. I have a box for you, and then you can go hide up in your room."

"Thanks, Merlin." Roxy could smell the grass outside and was happy. "I...Dad and Harry would have fussed. I don't want fuss." Her voice grew tiny. "I just wanted you and didn't know how to say that."

"Oh little warrior. I'm here, we'll get you through." Merlin pulled up to the estate and got out of the car. Roxy got herself out but had enough cramps and was out of sorts enough that it was hard to walk. Merlin swept her up. "Ye are so small, to be so strong."

"Don't feel strong," she said and curled into him, taking comfort from his alpha scent. 

"Ye are mighty," Merlin replied and carried her up to her room. He went to the bathroom and grabbed a black box. "Here is what ye need. I will be in my office, the gym, the kitchen, or my room. Come find me, or use the intercom."

"Thanks," Roxy said and slammed her door in his face. Soon loud music was blaring.

Merlin went to his office and fired off an email to Harry and Percival and settled into code.

3 hours later, he was still lost in his work when the scent in the room changed. Roxy. He looked up and flinched and closed his eyes. "Naked!" he shouted. "Why are you naked?"

"Because anything against my skin is hurting and itchy and my dick is still hard and just staying hard no matter what I do. Like the one knot apparently was all that's going to happen and I want to rip my skin off or come or something. MAKE IT FUCKING STOP MERLIN!" Roxy growled. It was already sounding deep and full.

"Shit," Merlin said.

"Nope haven't even done that, my body is so haywire."

"May any pups of mine be betas," he muttered.

"Oh your grumpy arse is going to die alone," she roared. "Now fucking help me do something about this useless dick."

"Go steal Harry's pants," he said.

Roxy paused. "What?"

"In his wardrobe he has some silk boxers, they are red with black hearts, they shouldn't be too itchy against your skin." Merlin's eyes were still closed. "Then meet me in the gym."

Roxy stalked off though her scent lingered. 

Shit, this was going as rough as he feared. He sent another status update to Harry and Percival and took a few deep breaths. He went to the gym and pulled on a pair of sweats and left a top off. He taped his wrists and ankles and started to do some stretching.

Roxy came into the gym, scent first and then the rest of her.

"Your tits are still out," Merlin said.

"So are yours," she snarled. The boxers were tented a little and Roxy was doing her best to ignore it.

"I don't have B cups."

"I do, but like I give a fuck, and wasn't exactly a silk camisole with the boxers," she said and went over and wrapped her wrists. "They're just tits."

"Huh, Harry must have gotten rid of the top then," Merlin mused.

Roxy blinked. "I am not thinking about that. Ever. Fuck." She shook her head trying to get rid of that image. She began to stretch as well. 

"A punch to unprotected breasts hurts quite a bit," Merlin said, stepping into the ring.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Like a vest stops the pain so much. Like you're going to do that." She went into the ring and put in a mouth guard. She stumbled and fell on her ass as Merlin did indeed punch her in the breast. She spit out the mouth guard. "What in the actual fuck Merlin?"

"Not thinking about the pain in your dick and not popping knot anymore are you?" Merlin stood over her. "Now channel some of those alpha hormones into pretending you can kick my ass."

"I can kick your ass," she growled low and deep and stood up.

They both put their mouth guards in and attacked. It wasn't an even fight, it was never going to be, but Roxy's blood was full up and she landed some good hits, using all the training the men had given her. And then Merlin punched her in the breast again.

They went to separate corners and stared at each other.

Merlin spit out his mouth guard. "Stop fighting honourably."

"I'm a gentleman," she snarled. "Like my fathers."

"You think Harry is a gentleman?" Merlin laughed harshly. "Would ye like to know what he did for queen and country? Would ye like to know how many he's killed? Because I promise you there were fights he was anything but a gentleman."

"You taught me control," she shouted back.

"I did," Merlin agreed. "Because ye need that. And now I am telling you this - today in this moment, what you need isn't control. It is to let go. Now give me everything you've got." Merlin ran at her and Roxy for the first time in all her training fought dirty. She scratched and bit and went for Merlin's dick. They were both bloody and bruised at the end of it. They lay on the ground together. "Good," he said. "I never expect ye to be in a fight for your life, but if ye are, I fucking expect you to come home to us pup. No matter what you have to do to accomplish that."

"School's going to wonder why I'm all beat up."

"We'll keep ye home until the bruises can be covered with makeup." Merlin looked at her. "Better?"

"Don't want to tear my skin off."

"Go shower and wank. I'll make food. After I stitch up my arm."

Roxy looked at him in horror. "You need stitches? Oh god. Oh god, alpha, I'm so sorry. I...you can..." She sniffed the air. "Do you smell fucking proud?"

Merlin's grin was feral and he gave a growl. Even in full rut and blood, Roxy tilted her neck to him, he was that strong. "Little warrior, I wear your scar with pride. And it is only three stitches. Now go, this adrenaline should translate into popping the knot again."

Roxy put her hand in her boxers and touched. "Yeah," she agreed and hurried out of the room.

Merlin went to the bathroom and fixed himself up. He then went to the kitchen and started to cook up some pasta. Eventually Roxy came down in a robe. She was starting to look worn down. 

"Chafing," she said.

"Not enough lube," he replied.

"It smells gross." She crossed her arms. "Bit too sweet."

"Okay, eat," he said and went up to his bedroom. He came back with a few different bottles. "All the lubes and synthetic slicks in the house." He opened them all and started to hold them one by one up to her nose. "Tell me when."

"There," she said on the third bottle.

"Synthetic slick, omega-a, so near beta," he said looking at the label. "Enough here for the night, I'll call the pharmacy and get more sent over."

They ate in silence, Merlin realizing that Roxy's own scent wasn't as harsh as before. "So two successful knots?"

"haldfjadnfa," she said mouth full.

"Sheath fitting well?"

Roxy turned red but nodded and shoveled more pasta in her mouth.

"Promise?" Merlin asked and she nodded again.

"Okay, first rut, already two is good, alpha-a, means could have another tonight," he guessed. "And this will probably be the pattern for the next three days."

"Fuck off," she moaned. "This happens twice a goddamn year too?"

"Or more," he said. "I'm three times a year."

"Nu-uh," she said. "Not happening."

"Yes because ordering your biology not to suck will totally work."

"Hey tits are still relatively small, and the rut held off," she pointed out. "Seems to be working so far."

"Happenstance," he said.

"Awesomeness," she answered. She grabbed the fizzy drink and guzzled it and for the first time in years of trying burped the whole alphabet. "Bow before me pack alpha."

"One day, perhaps, but ye have yet to beat me in Street Fighter."

"Oh it's on," she stormed off and they played video games until her scent got too high and she ran back to her room to wank.

The next day was more of the same, bickering, sparring, and her running off to deal with her rut.

Merlin had even called Harry and Percival to tell them how well it was all going and that he guessed they could come home tomorrow afternoon that she'd be near enough done to be able to handle them there. Which of course meant it all had to go to hell. 

Merlin had been doing well at ignoring any noises he heard from Roxy's room, but at 1am he was woken by a scream. He ran in just his pants down the hall, gun in hand. He stormed into Roxy's room and she was sobbing. "Sit rep," he ordered.

"The sheath fell off, Merlin. Pack Alpha!" She screamed, in agony.

Merlin put the gun on her dresser and cursed. "Roxy," he said. "Ye need to -"

"Merlin, please," she could barely form words, it was hurting so much.

Merlin looked over to her wardrobe and saw her dressing gown. He ripped the waist band off it and climbed onto Roxy's bed. He pushed her on her back and made a slip knot. "Forgive me, little warrior," he said as he grabbed her dick and slid it on. "Tell me when the agony stops." He slowly wrapped the fabric around his hand tightening the cloth around her knot carefully.

"There," she sobbed. She threw an arm over her eyes. Merlin slid took her free hand and tried to pass the fabric to her. "I'm scared. Please," she whispered, throat a little raw from the screaming.

Merlin nodded and moved them about on the bed so that they were spooning. He scented her neck and held the fabric tight. He whispered to her and promised her it would be alright, that this was almost done and how proud he was of her. He held her while she came down as her scent smoothed out. Merlin grazed his teeth on her neck and she went limp and fell asleep. He waited a few more minutes and then let go of the fabric and moved away from Roxy. She whimpered and said 'no' and he sighed and stayed in the bed. He could never leave his pack hurting.

"Merlin?" she whispered when the sun was peaking through her curtains.

"Aye?" he slurred, slowly waking up.

"I need to wank."

"I'll go."

"I'm scared."

Merlin pulled her into his arms. "It was an accident. Ye know to be a little more careful this time," he said. He scented her a bit. "You can do it, and I'll go make breakfast." He went to move but Roxy wouldn't let go.

"Can't you just pretend I'm Harry?" she asked. "I've overheard him and Dad talking. I know you've helped him."

"It's different," Merlin said. "For many reasons."

"Logan," Roxy looked at him and Merlin remembered meeting her at 10, and could also see who she would become. "Pack alpha, I need your aid," she said.

Merlin refused to help her the way he had helped Harry, but he wouldn't leave her. Merlin linked their fingers. "I'm here, little warrior. I won't let go." Merlin held her fingers tight as she took care of herself. He kept his eyes closed, just let Roxy take comfort in his scent. When she was finished and stuck in the sheath he opened his eyes. 

"Thanks, Merlin," she said.

"Pup, anything for you."

"Mark me as pack?"

"Not until ye are 18, no matter how many times you ask," he answered as he always did when she asked.

She huffed a little at that but didn't argue. "I think about girls when I jerk off."

"I mostly think about boys," he answered easily.

"Dicks aren't sexy."

"Yes they are," he countered. "Mine is great."

"Gross," she stuck out her tongue. "Let me see."

"No," he smacked her head.

"Seen Harry's," Roxy said.

"How?" Merlin frowned.

"Yeah, turns out Dad's lessons about always knocking on a closed door, really should have been following those. Do now though."  Merlin laughed at her for that one. "So, let me see yours."

"No," he said. "That's weird."

"You've seen mine," she argued.

"Didn't especially want to," Merlin pointed out.

"Tit for tat, we are a pack that believes in equality," Roxy challenged and growled a little.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Merlin said. He threw back the covers and held open his pants. "There, my dick."

Roxy took a quick peek before he dropped the waistband back into place. "Huh, it's just a dick."

"What the fuck were ye expecting?"

"I don't know, thought alpha-a, pack alpha it would be like giant or something." 

"Ye've seen me in my pants a million times, think you would have noticed if it was giant."

"So are you a grower?"

"I hate this conversation," Merlin said. "Some. Dicks come in lots of sizes no matter your designation. It is an old wives tale that size of dick equals strength of alphaness."

"Will mine get bigger?" 

"Depends on how much more ye grow I suppose," Merlin said.

"Merlin?" Roxy asked.

"Oh what now?"

Roxy scooted across the bed and hugged him. "Thank you for being my pack alpha. You're my favourite thing."

Merlin smiled a little. "Ye are a right pain in my ass, little warrior." He pulled her tight to him. "Ye are my second favourite thing."

"Is Harry or fruit tarts number one?" she asked.

"That is a question I will nae answer under any torture."

"So fruit tarts."

"Tell anyone and ye are feeding the roses." Merlin kissed her head. "Go shower ye smell like crappy musk body spray and spunk."

Roxy laughed and slipped the sheath off and went to the bathroom. Merlin went to his own room and cleaned up and went to make them food. They ate and then went to watch movies, Roxy excusing herself once. When she came back she curled into him.

"I'm never going to betray you pack alpha. Never dishonour you, never forget how much you value me, never take what is rightfully yours as our alpha. This I so swear," she said. She had read it in a book once and thought it a cool promise. "This I so swear," she repeated for emphasis.

"Does this mean ye will stop trying to cheat at video games?" he asked.

"Shut up, you know what it means. It means I will never harm you or this pack with my actions."

"Little warrior, you do nothing but make us better," he told her.

That night Harry and Percival came home and Percival was so relieved when Roxy let him hug her and cuddle her. "My girl," she said.

"Daddy," she said and snuggled in. "Biology is stupid."

"Incredibly so," he agreed. "But you survived?"

"Yeah."

Merlin quietly filled Harry in on everything and waited for the man to kill him. Harry pulled him in for a hard hug and a kiss. "Thank you pack alpha," he said. He tilted his head and let Merlin nuzzle the pack bite. "You did fine, you took care of her. Percival won't be mad, I am not mad. She was lucky to have you."

"Thank ye, Harry," Merlin said relieved.

That night Merlin pulled out a bottle of scotch he had been saving. He broke the seal and poured all four of them a dram. "To our alpha, whom we welcome with open arms. We acknowledge your strength and potential, and will help ye to grow it."

The three men gave Roxy a toast and she blushed and took a sip. It was disgusting and perfect at the same time. Sort of like how the last few days had been. They slept in a pack pile that night, Roxy encased in the middle.


	4. parkour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we need some Eggsy again don't we?

"Merlin where's Eggsy?" Harry asked. "I thought he was with you. I want to talk to him about a vocabulary level in that game." He looked around Merlin's office like he expected to see him pop up from behind the desk.

"Jesus, Harry's he's not blowing me under here," Merlin said and kept typing.

"Well no one has seen him in a bit, we all assumed he was in here being shagged," Harry said. "Your bonding ceremony is only a couple weeks away, just figured it was shagapolooza."

"Hmmm? No," Merlin kept typing. "He stopped by, was grumpy about what he was working on, I said I was too busy to fuck the grumpy out of him -"

"You were too busy to fuck your omega who's almost half your age and has a perfect ass?" Harry's voice soared higher with every word.

Merlin finally looked up from his computer. "And ye have been noticing my omega's ass, have ye?"

Harry flapped an arm. "Of course I have he wants around in those track pants at the estate. How do you not notice his arse. Even Tilde has."

Merlin frowned and picked up his phone and sent messages to the whole family. He went back to his coding and soon they were all in his office. He typed for another minute before looking at all of them. "Raise your hand if ye have had a sexual thought about my omega's arse." His eyes widened as everyone raised their hand. He growled a little at them. Only Percival looked a little apologetic. "That is my arse."

"We don't actually want it," Roxy reassured her pack alpha. "It is just really quite lovely."

Merlin glared a little bit more at them and then relented. "Ye can't talk to him right now anyways, Harry. He was grumpy and said he was going to jump off the roof of the building." They all stared at him in horror. "What?" he asked them confused. They still didn't say anything and he shrugged and went back to typing.

"You fucking moron!" Percival yelled and ran out of the room. The others followed him, with Harry giving him a look of disgust and disappointment.

"What did I do?" Merlin asked the empty room. He decided he should probably follow them. They were waiting at the elevator, scent all vicious, terrifying. Even Tilde was smelling more panicked than he had ever scented her. He leaned into calm her, since Roxy couldn't and she punched him.

Tilde.

Sweet Tilde actually popped him in the jaw. It didn't hurt at all, but still.

"What did I do?" Merlin asked, scent finally getting a little het up. They all piled into the elevator and Percival hit for the top floor. When the doors closed his whole pack started to smack, yell or pull a knife on him. He could barely focus with the cloying scent in the room and all the different shouts and..."Do not try to kick me in the junk!" he roared as he dodged a knee. He growled low and deep and they all quieted. "What the fuck is wrong with all of you?"

Everyone looked to Harry who cupped Merlin's face. "Your omega said they were off to kill themselves and you were sitting there coding." He willed Merlin to focus and understand the severity of the situation.

The elevator dinged and they poured out, Percival running up the last flight to get to the roof access. He saw Eggsy. "Eggsy!" he shouted. "Don't, please, we all love you."

Eggsy turned and stared at the pack all running to him, Merlin following slowly behind. "Wot?" All of a sudden he was tackled by Percival and then Harry was there too hugging him, scenting him. It was a little freaky. They smelled rank. "Roxy?" he asked but then she was in the pile too and so was Tilde. Eggsy couldn't really breathe between the smell and the four full grown adults on top of him. "Merlin? Babe, some help?"

"Don't kill yourself, Eggsy," Roxy begged. 

"Why the fuck would I do that?" Eggsy asked. He wiggled and no one would let go. "Oi, you idiots off!" he shouted. "Merlin, a little help?"

"My fault lad, I said ye were grumpy and headed to jump off the roof," Merlin explained.

"And he may not care, but we do," Percival said earnestly. 

"I know you care, mate," Eggsy said. He kissed Percival's cheek. "But you are all really fucking heavy, so get off."

Merlin reached into the pile and picked Tilde up and moved her to the side. Everyone else got the hint and climbed off. 

"How don't they know?" Eggsy asked.

"Ye didn't actually tell them," Merlin pointed out.

"I did."

"Nae."

"Yeah, I -" Eggsy frowned. "I didn't tell you guys? But we've talked about how we all work out." He looked at the group. "I told you."

"You said you run about," Harry said.

"Oh," Eggsy shrugged and smiled. "Well I do but...just watch okay?" He looked at his alpha. "Merlin keep the back?"

Merlin nodded and stepped in front of the pack. "Watch," he ordered and growled a little. They were all tense but stayed put. Eggsy took a few deep breaths and winked at them and took off running. He jumped to the building next to theirs and soon was bouncing off various things before leaping back to their building. "He's Spiderman," Merlin explained.

The group watched Eggsy move about. "Parkour," Harry realized. "Some of the young agents did were picking it up when we left."

"Exactly," Merlin said. "Spiderman."

"Oh," Percival said. He leaned his head on Merlin's shoulder. "My apologies alpha," he said. He nuzzled in a bit and Merlin pulled him into a hug.

"I am grateful ye care so much for the pack omega," Merlin replied. "Even if I am disappointed in all of ye that you believed I would be so dismissive of my omega's feelings." The whole pack all smelled sad and regretful ashamed at the distrust they showed in Merlin. They all knew he was occasionally clueless but he loved fiercely and true. They were all closing in trying to nuzzle and submit a little bit.

Eggsy ran up and stopped in front of them, grinning. He smelled free and happy. "Room for me?" he asked and Harry moved to the side so that Eggsy could be right in front of Merlin and press into his chest. "Not going anywhere guys," he promised as they all closed around him. "But thanks for the panic over me?"

"Can you maybe jump about on lower roofs?" Percival asked.

"No," Eggsy said. "Been doing this ten years, know what I am doing."

Percival tightened his grip a little and Eggsy smiled. It was honestly the most emotion he had seen out of the beta. He knew Percival liked him, but it was all couched in reports and pdfs. He twisted his head to nuzzle the guy, scent him a little and Percival relaxed a bit, the relief of the future pack omega covering his fear with a scent of happy, of home.

"Tell you what, this weekend, we can go to where I usually run about so you can properly see what I do," Eggsy said. "Can even teach you lot some stuff."

Merlin pouted, "But post workout shag."

"Can wait," Eggsy said firmly. "Our pack needs some reassurance."

"Fine." Merlin sighed. "Can I go back to work now?"

"No, more hugs," Percival said. No one else was letting go either. Merlin started to walk back to the stairs and no one detached. It took forever to get back to his office everyone clinging together. Merlin grabbed his tablet and sat in the middle of the floor, Eggsy's head in his lap and the whole group around them.

Merlin worked while Eggsy explained everything he could about parkour, and the group listened carefully.

Percival used the family accounts to build a small course for Eggsy at the estate, hoping it would keep Eggsy closer to the ground. 

It didn't but it was well used nonetheless.


	5. Babies First Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merwin with a tiny baby and Merlin goes nuts with presents and Eggsy has to be the voice of reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received this prompt on tumblr and well it is a perfect fit for this pack isn't it? enjoy a glimpse of the future.  
> Also it sort of meandered from the prompt.

"Wot the fuck is that?" Eggsy asked stunned.

"A Christmas tree," Harry said. "I would think that is obvious."

"No, we've had Christmas trees, before, they didn't look like that." Last year it had been a lovely 7 foot tree in the library. This was easily 9 feet tall and in the main hallway.

"Did you get it special from Santa, Harry? It's huge," Daisy stared at it in awe.

"Why yes, I believe he did help us. With all the extra children, we really rather needed more tree to put the gifts under didn't we?" Harry smiled at Daisy and picked her up. "You'll help us decorate won't you?"

"It's my favourite," she said.

"And you have such a good eye for it," Harry smiled at her and rubbed his nose against her cheek, making her giggle.

"Do we even have enough ornaments and shit for it?" Eggsy was still boggled by it.

"No, that is what I am bringing up from the car," Percival said carrying his son in his car seat and a bag. "Though a little help would be nice Harry."

"Of course," Harry said immediately and took the car seat. "Eggsy be a dear and help Percival with all the boxes." He disappeared down the hall with the two kids.

Percival just sighed and trudged back outside with Eggsy at his heels. "Your mate has gone mental," Eggsy said.

"I am aware," Percival pointed to where a lorry was coming down the lane. "More decorations."

"Jaysus," Eggsy said. "He knows none of the babies are going to remember this right? My girl don't even roll over yet."

"Babies, Eggsy. Harry has never done a first Christmas for anyone. Roxy was 11 our first family Christmas and trust me that was insane." Percival grabbed three bags and Eggsy four. "But his first Christmas for his granddaughter, goddaughter, and son. Did you expect him to stay sane?"

"Point," Eggsy said. "At least Merlin seems to be keeping his cool."

"It is adorable that you think that," Percival dropped the bags down in the hall and saw Tilde walking with her fussy baby. "Give me my granddaughter."

"Happily," Tilde said. Percival took off his coat and threw it close to the door and threw the receiving blanket over his shoulder and cuddled the wee baby. "She is missing Roxy fierce."

"I know little one," Percival crooned and the baby settled, the scent of her grandfather carrying the same notes, though muted, of Roxy. "There we go, how about we give your Mama a break." He walked down the hall. "Help the deliverymen, Eggsy."

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "How you holding up?"

Tilde sighed. "Long couple of days. But Roxy will be home from that conference soon. How did you get the good baby?"

"Hey now, haven't you notice they switch off being assholes?" Eggsy joked. "Zoe was a right nightmare that first month, and Izzy was a ray of sunshine. So Izzy's having her turn at evil. Imagine if they ever sync up." Tilde laughed at that. "Go have a nap, hun. I'll deal with all this."

Tilde kissed Eggsy's cheek and went off for some sleep. Eggsy signed for everything and watched box after box come in. Fuck, Harry had gone mental. Once it was done he poked at a couple and decided nope, Harry wanted all this - Harry could deal with it. Eggsy went for a walk to Merlin's home office and found Merlin typing away, Zoe in her sling against his heart. Eggsy took a picture, as if he didn't have 231 already just like it. "How you doing?" Eggsy asked softly.

"We're fine," Merlin said. "She's been sleeping, I've been dealing with this code for the godd-" Merlin looked down at his daughter. "For the very unfortunate water level that your Uncle Harry has decided is a good idea."

"She's four months old, babe, you can say goddamn in front of her. You just want to avoid things like thundercunt, fuck, and pissing shit cocksucking wanker arsehole." Eggsy grinned as Merlin gave him a lethal glare. Merlin had insisted no swearing around any of the babies and was taking it very seriously. Eggsy was going to pay for that later, not that he minded. "You know Harry's gone mental right?"

"He always likes Christmas," Merlin said and started typing again.

"Yeah, this is a little crazy."

"It's is the children's first Christmas." Merlin looked up concerned. "Daisy isn't upset that he is going nuts is he? She doesn't feel short changed?"

Eggsy's scent spiked a bit, at that, waves of happiness at how Merlin worried about Daisy. Zoe shifted in the sling smelling her omega daddy. "No, she loves the babies thinks it is all great." Eggsy came closer and took his girl. "Zoe, Uncle Harry is going to be crazy, but you already know that don't you." She woke up and blinked at her Daddy. "Hungry?" Eggsy asked. She smacked her lips and Eggsy settled into the cozy chair in the office with her. "So I was thinking that that exosaucer I've been reading about would be a good gift to her from us, and Santa could bring a couple books and some bath toys?" 

Merlin didn't look up. "I already ordered some things."

"Yeah?"

"Hmmm," Merlin nodded. "Less than Harry did for Hunter."

"That doesn't comfort me," Eggsy said. "She's four months, she don't need a lot."

"Of course, of course," Merlin replied. "But a little spoiling isn't so bad, not for perfection like her."

"Don't say sappy shit, do your work," Eggsy said and stared down at her. She really was perfect.

*********************************************

"I can't even," Eggsy said. "What did all of you do?"

"I think they bought everything in England," Michelle said.

"It isn't that bad," Roxy protested. "Ow," she said when Tilde hit her. "Technically I bought some of mine in America anyways, they have some cute baby stuff there."

Eggsy groaned and looked at the idiots. "4 months, almost 5 months, and 7 months," he said pointing at the three babies in various arms. "And roughly how many gifts per baby?"

Percival held up some papers. "I counted. Zoe has 31, Izzy 28, Hunter 29." He looked at the paper. "Daisy has 14 but hers are rather bigger."

Eggsy glared at Merlin. "You said you did less than Harry!"

"I was in town and passed a shop, there were a couple extra things!" Merlin glared right back. "Zoe will look adorable what I bought."

"Oh good lord," Eggsy said. "All of you, if one more gift shows up, under that tree for any of these babies, I will murder the lot of you."

Daisy gasped. "You're going to murder Santa?"

Michelle hit Eggsy. "No, sweetie, of course, I'm not going to murder Santa. His gifts are magic and special. I just meant idiot alphas need to stop their instincts when it comes to providing for their babies."

"Oh, is that why they all smell funny?" she asked. "Because they are being all alphay?"

"Yes, honey, exactly," Eggsy said to Daisy.

"So I can still make the babies the stuff I'm making them?" 

"Yup. You are fine." Daisy grinned at that.

"Going to murder me, darling, when I put my gifts under the tree?" Michelle asked.

"Wait...those numbers don't include you yet?" Eggsy looked at her.

"No, I still have more shopping to do," she smiled. "But count me down for about 4 per baby." She thought about it. "6," she changed it to.

Eggsy stared at her in horror. "They infected you too."

"Grandmother privilege." Michelle was unrepentant.

"All of you need to calm down," Eggsy said. "This Christmas is going to be magical because of how big our pack has grown, and because we have these three perfect little angels with us this year. Not because of the 18 million gifts you all bought people who don't know they have opposable thumbs yet."

The three alpha parents all hung their heads in contrition. Merlin sort of peeked at Eggsy though.

"I know you are faking," Eggsy snapped. "Not a one of you has even the hint of smelling contrite." He wrinkled his nose. "The only smell is Hunter's diaper."

Harry went over to where the three babies were in their bouncy chairs staring at the tree. "Yes, that is mine." He picked Hunter up and held him away from his suit. Hunter babbled and tried to grab his father's tie. They walked down the hall and Percival looked at his papers.

"Oh I miscounted, everyone's gift count is much higher."

"I hate all of you," Eggsy said. "Making you all watch all the Christmas movies that point out it isn't about material goods at least five times."

"Can we watch Die Hard?" Roxy asked as she picked up her daughter. 

"No!" Eggsy said.

"Boring, come on Izzy, let's watch Bruce Willis save the holidays with a machine gun."

"Tilde stop her," Eggsy begged.

"I like Bruce Willis," Tilde said and went off her family.

Michelle and Daisy decided to go make cookies and Percival walked down a hall muttering about holiday spreadsheets.

Merlin stepped forward and pulled Eggsy into a hug, scented his lad. "We may have gone a little crazy."

"Daisy's first Christmas, she had three things under the tree. Two of which I had nicked." Eggsy leaned into Merlin. "We're spoiling the babies."

"Babies deserve a little spoiling," Merlin said. "Eggsy we are rich. We can afford it."

"Yeah but -"

"I promise just this first year, okay? We will all tone it down next year. But Eggsy, we were so small for so long, and now we're not. Can you blame us for going a little nuts?" Merlin nuzzled his omega. 

"It's going to take two days just to open everything."

"So it takes two days," Merlin said.

"Just this year?"

"Just this year."

Eggsy leaned into Merlin. "I bought all the kids a whole bunch of stuff too," he admitted.

Merlin snorted a bit at that. "You are coming to the dark side nicely."

"Shut up, still more reasonable that you lot." Zoe began to fuss a little and Merlin went over and picked her up and brought them back together so they were all snuggled and looking at the tree together. Zoe reached out and banged an ornament and laughed when it swayed. "Yeah, maybe she deserves a little spoiling," Eggsy said. Her laugh always melted him.

Merlin kissed his head. "You do too. A dozen things under there are for you."

"We agreed two!" Eggsy yelled.

Merlin held his daughter in front of his face. "Can't get made staring at her," he said and slowly backed out of the room as if Zoe was a hostage. She giggled more thinking her dad was playing a grand game.

"You won't be holding her forever, and then you are in so much trouble!"

Merlin peeked around Zoe. "Promise?" he grinned and went down the hall.

"Fucking idiots," Eggsy muttered and then tried to see if he could tell which gifts were his under the tree.


	6. The Butcher and The Florist part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay the butcher is fancast with Rupert Graves. And yes I am importing Sean from the KEU because these are my worlds and I can absolutely use my OCs however I want.

"Michelle, we need you to stop at the butcher's on the way home and pick up these items," Percival said and handed her a list. "Charge it to the pack account."

Michelle looked at the list. "Didn't we just get our semi-weekly order in?" Percival had their groceries running on a well oiled machine, food from the local shops delivered like clockwork.

"We did but I forgot to add a few things," he said and smiled. "And the florists is in a few doors down from the butcher. How is the new job going?"

"You know I love it," Michelle said absently. She had been moving around the different shops in town, doing well at the bookstore, the toy shop, but had found her niche in the flower shop. She adored putting together fresh bouquets and was even taking a few online classes about botany. She looked at the list. "This isn't a couple forgotten things, Percy. This is half the order."

"Is it?" He shrugged. "Silly me, must have been distracted."

"Nope," Michelle said. "Right there, that is a damn lie. You are never distracted when it comes to lists. You had Norwalk and were seeing pink elephants and your lists were still 100% correct. So I want the truth, why I am picking up all the red meat that was supposed to be on the list." He tried to sneak away and she stepped on his foot. "The truth, or I tell Harry what happened to that waistcoat."

"You wouldn't!"

"You best believe I would," she warned.

"I have run the numbers. We get the best price when you go to the butcher's due to him liking your arse," Percival said.

"Excuse me?" Michelle stared at him.

"There is always a magical sale when you pick things up, or you get a better cut, an extra piece."

"He doesn't want to have to just bin it," she protested.

"You get the high end thick cut bacon for the price of his mid-range bacon," Percival said. "I can show you the chart for what we pay with the regular butcher bill, versus items you get."

"He just is giving a fellow shop worker a break sometimes."

"He isn't a fellow shop worker, he owns the shop and part of the farm that supplies the pork," Percival replied. "Three speeding tickets in the last five years is the extent of his criminal record and he cheers for West Ham, which is appalling but can be overlooked. Now go get us discounted rib eye steaks."

"You're mental," she said. "Sean doesn't treat me differently than any other customer."

"Really? Because you are the only person I know who calls him Sean, everyone calls him Mr. McKnight or Knights," Percival said. "Work your magic. Get us cheap meat." He gave her a nod and disappeared down the hall.

"He doesn't treat me any different!" she shouted after him but Percival ignored her.

Michelle took her little hatchback into work and happily played with roses and carnations and sketched some centerpiece ideas on the art pad that Merlin had tricked out for her. She chatted with customers and had a lovely time as usual. She hung up her apron and touched up her lipstick a bit. But she would be doing that anyways, it wasn't specifically because Sean was working at this time of day. She deliberately didn't fuss with her hair like she had been planning. She walked the few doors down to the butcher's shop and walked in. Oh, Mikey was at the counter. 

She wasn't disappointed.

"Hiya," she said. "I have a list, seems we forgot to add a few things to our order." She handed the paper over to the lad, figuring that was easiest. "And you can charge it to the Mathe account."

The boy, a young alpha looked at her. "Hold, on," was all he said and disappeared in the back.

Michelle went to look at the fridge which was full of ready to grill kebabs, and marinating chicken and the like. There was a shelf with homemade marinades beside it and she was reading labels, figuring the boy was boxing the order up.

"Ms. Unwin," a voice cheerfully called and Michelle straightened her posture a little.

She turned and smiled. "Sean," she said. "Was worried you weren't working today." He smiled and rocked on his heels a bit. "Not worried," she said quickly. "I mean you are seldom out sick, just thought maybe you were taking a day off. Not that you can't take a day off, I just -" she forced herself to stop talking. And smiled a little sickly and knew her scent was reading as embarrassed as her cheeks were red. "The order?"

"Of course," Sean said easily. "My brother sent in a new bacon, I thought it made a quite tasty sandwich, you'll have to let me know what you think of it. No charge, looking for some opinions on how it compares to the usual." Mikey brought out a box and Sean took it. "Let me carry this to your car for you."

"I can manage," she replied. 

"I know you can, seen you hauling those flower buckets around, but still, happy to help you out, Ms. Unwin," he said.

"I'm sure I've told you to call me Michelle," she replied. She held the door open for him, and yes maybe checked out his arse as he walked by. Mikey snorted behind the counter and she gave him her best 'mum' glare and he held his hands up innocently. Not that there was a lot to check out in Sean's work clothes, they were all fairly loose for ease of movement, but she could see the muscles in his arms from hauling meat. They walked to her car in silence and he put it in the boot for her. 

"Well then, I'll see you around," he said and gave her that smile again.

She sniffed and outside the shop it was easier to smell him, or not. He had a bit of a scent, that of a beta. She had always been drawn to alphas, but that got her widowed and hurt. There was something soothing about Sean. "Thank you for carrying it out. And I am sorry that Percival messed up the order."

"Not like him, but I won't object if it means seeing you more than just walking by the shop." He squeezed her shoulder and she froze a little under the touch. He pulled his hand away quickly and ran it through his hair, ruffing the spikes that it stood up in. "Well, you have a nice day, Ms. Unwin; let me know how that bacon tastes," he said and began to hurry away.

"You could come by the flower shop sometime? I've thought a couple hanging baskets outside your door, or a barrel, they could be nice?" she called out. Louder than she intended and a few people on the street turned to look at them. She was going to kill Percival for putting these thoughts in her head. He was just the friendly butcher, an extrovert, that's all. He wasn't flirting via cheap bacon.

"That could look good, maybe I'll pop in. You don't work again until Tuesday right?"

"Yeah, but any of the girls would be happy to help you."

"I can wait until Tuesday," he said and gave her a small wave. She waited until he was back in the shop and drove to the estate. She took the box into the kitchen and Percival was at the table with a pot of tea and some paperwork. He helped her with the box and didn't say a word.

"Free bacon, okay? But it's just new, he wants people to check it out, compare it to the old stuff," she said. "It's not flirtation bacon." 

He continued not to say anything.

"He isn't flirting, he's just friendly," Michelle repeated.

Percival didn't say a word just put the food away and went back to his paperwork.

"It's nothing," Michelle insisted and stalked out of the kitchen.

Percival waited until she was well gone to laugh. He had to tell Harry about flirtation bacon. 


	7. The Dead Parrot Sketch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No actual dead parrots are involved in this chapter.  
> The Hunter, Zoe, Izzy are 3 or 4 here

Roxy snuggled into Tilde and kissed her neck. "You are so gorgeous," she said and nuzzled a little. "How am I so lucky?"

"So, still angling for a family pet for us too, yes?" Tilde asked and didn't look up from the report she was reading.

"Well come on, Harry and Dad have like the perfect dog, Merlin has that weird, evil familiar of his, we should have a pet," Roxy was not pouting.

"Merlin's cat isn't evil," Tilde said, "It's just..." She couldn't find the right words to describe it.

"The devil?"

"It behaves well with Zoe and Max?" Tilde offered. "He doesn't actually attack anyone."

"No he just sits at the highest point in any room and glares at us all, and then rides on Merlin's soldier like a pirate's parrot. That is not a pet, it is...something." Tilde had to admit that it was a very odd cat. Harry and Percival had been the first to get a pet, a black lab for Hunter that was a perfectly behaved and well trained dog. Michelle and Sean had found a stray mutt behind the butcher shop and it was the fiercest and most loyal creature to Sean that could be imagined. Then Eggsy insisted his kids needed a dog too, only at the shelter Merlin and this cat had created some sort of weird soul bond. And now the cat just followed Merlin around and glared at everyone and drank coffee. Merlin had purchased a small replica mug of his own for the cat. 

"A dog, come on, it could go for runs with you, and how much would Izzy adore it?" Roxy was wheedling.

"How much would you adore it?" Tilde countered. She had decided a month ago that a family pet of their own would be nice, but she liked making Roxy suffer, just a little. It was funny.

"So much, I never had a pet growing up, and I have done like Dad levels of research. I have charts about what pet would best suit the three of us. Charts, Tilde, this is how serious I am about it. I know about every no kill shelter within an hour's drive and what they currently have - cross referenced to those lists. I want a dog so badly, I don't care old or young, male of female, just please let the three of us get in the Range Rover and go fine a doggy."

"Okay," Tilde agreed and giggled when Roxy fell off the couch in shock.

"IZZY WE GET A PUPPY!" Roxy shouted and ran out of the room to get their daughter before Tilde could change her mind.

Tilde gathered her purse and headed downstairs, where she ran into Eggsy. "We are going puppy hunting," she told him.

"Good luck don't come home with evil incarnate like we did," Eggsy suggested.

"You love that cat, because it is just like Merlin," Tilde replied.

Eggsy laughed, "I do. I love it so much. It is so cranky at everyone but us. It's brilliant. But seriously, you need to be careful, okay? Because a shelter you will want to bring everyone home. It is brutal."

"Eggsy, I supported animal charities for years back home, this is fine for me. The concern is Roxy." There was the sound of an elephant herd running, which was just Roxy and Izzy shouting Doggy and they came down the stairs and stopped in front of them.

"Eggsy we get a pet too!" Izzy told him. "It will be the best pet in the whole house!"

"Hey, nothing is better than Soot Sprite."

"Ours will be," Izzy replied and Roxy picked her up.

"Damn straight, we are coming home with the best dog in existence." Roxy held up a page, "The condensed list."

"Save me, Eggsy," Tilde begged.

"Yeah...no." Eggsy gave them a wave and headed towards the kitchen.

******************************

It had been a nice day and everyone was playing outside when they saw the car coming home.

"Poodle," Percival said. "Five pounds."

"What poodles are at shelters?" Harry asked. "Yorkie," he offered.

"I vote Border Collie mix of something," Eggsy decided, "it was pretty high on her list."

"Kitty," Zoe shouted. "More kitties. ALL THE KITTIES TO BE MY UNHOLY ARMY OF PURRS!"

"Goldfish," Hunter added his two cents. 

"Not until ye are ten can you command forces," Merlin said. "Boxer," he suggested.

"Dalmation," Sean said for the hell of it, his german shepard staring at him like he hung the moon, just as he always did.

"Nothing, they didn't find the right dog," Daisy decided.

"You know I don't bet," Michelle finished. Max had fallen asleep in the grass worn out from chasing bugs. They all stood there, and waited and couldn't see a large dog in the car car but it could be laying down or something. Roxy pulled up and turned the vehicle off and they all grew a little concerned when no one came out of the car. "Oh dear, I think maybe Daisy is right, they didn't have luck the poor girls," Michelle said.

Roxy clearly nodded to herself and got out of the car and stalked over to the family. "Not a single one of you says anything about it okay? If you make fun I will gut you where you stand. They fell in love and I couldn't stop them. I tried, believe I tried, there were so many great dogs and then they just took one look at it was all over so be nice, or I will be not nice."

"How ugly or ancient is the dog?" Harry asked in horror. "Like ugly enough to win that competition?"

"I...just...I lost. I'm an alpha...I persuade people to my will...people are scared of me, and this came home with us."

"Oh this will be spectacular," Merlin said.

The whole pack moved forward a little and Tilde was helping Izzy out of the car. She then reached in and pulled out a cage and walked towards them. Izzy was skipping and Tilde had only smiled like that on their bonding day and after Izzy. "Meet Mr. Livingstone."

They all stared.

"That's a bird," Hunter finally said. "A grey one."

"I'm the model of a modern major gentleman," the bird shouted.

"Oh my god, it gets better," Merlin breathed out. He turned and went to get Max up to hide his laughter.

"I'm just a poor boy from a poor family," the bird said.

"I'm sorry," Zoe said, "Do you need a hug?"

"That's from a song hun," Eggsy told her. He looked at them, "...So..." he was at a loss. "Bird," he managed to say. "Who sings," he added.

"Isn't he incredible?" Tilde looked at the cage and the bird looked back.

"I would do anything for love," the bird crooned to her.

"Oh Mr. Livingstone, we'll treat you so well."

"He's an African Grey Parrot and his owner died, alone and wasn't found for days," Izzy said seriously.

"Neat," Zoe answered.

"Right? They only found him because the neighbour got tired of the bird singing Amazing Grace and called a noise complaint in."

"The bird has been incredibly depressed," Tilde explained, "And no one was interesting an animals that are this vocal and live this long."

"How long?" Percival asked.

"They guessed he was around 20 and they can live up to 60," Tilde said. "Such an amazing creature."

Roxy looked miserable.

"And he knows a trick!" Izzy shouted. She jumped up, "Dead Parrot!" They all watched as the parrot stiffened on its perch and then fell off and just lay on the bottom and didn't move. She giggled, "Mama say the words."

"Beautiful plummage innit?" Tilde said and the parrot sat up.

"And now for something completely different," it said and hopped onto its perch.

Merlin could barely contain himself. "Okay, I need to make sure that I have this clear. Roxy did weeks of research, and today you went to a shelter to get a dog. And you came home with a 20 year old african grey parrot named Mr. Livingstone, who makes Monty Python jokes and sings the likes of Queen, Meatloaf, and Gilbert and Sullivan."

"Yes," Tilde said. She reached in and rubbed the bird's breast. "He's perfect."

"How?" Harry asked.

"Because he's insane, like all of us," Tilde responded easily. "Think, it isn't unreasonable that he'll outlive Merlin, Sean or Harry?"

Sean stared at the bird, "I'm outliving it."

"I say a little prayer for you," it sang back.

"Best animal ever," Zoe said in awe.

"I know, right?" Izzy cheered. "So much better than a smelly dog."

"At least it will be in a cage a lot," Harry muttered.

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Roxy replied. "But apparently he is used to a measure of freedom."

"What does that mean?" Eggsy asked.

"We get to create a bird room!" Tilde and Izzy said in unison. Tilde was almost bouncing.

Merlin couldn't hold back the giggle. "This is the most perfect reveal that has ever happened in my life."

"Wait, they didn't bring home a dog, or a cat, or a goldfish," Daisy realized, "I win the money."

"Take the money and run," the bird said.

Roxy just sighed as her mate and daughter giggled happily. She looked at the bird. She'd get used to him. Probably.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sean and merlin bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after Sean has moved into the estate fully but before he has accepted Merlin's pack bite

"Oi, what the fuck are you doing?" Sean shouted at the telly. "What a ludicrous display." He flopped onto the couch, just like the player had flopped on the pitch. "Get up you wanker." He reached for a beer and found that it was empty. "Don't do anything until I get back," he told the telly as he pointed at it. Who was he kidding, Arsenal wouldn't do fuck all. Why they had to break his heart every bleeding time they took the pitch he'd never know. He opened the door and there was Merlin.

With a gun.

Sean didn't even raise his hands anymore at the sight. "I did not take the last fruit tart."

"I heard yelling," Merlin replied. "I was concerned about your safety."

The alpha's scent was high and ready to murder. It made Sean feel a little soft and gooey. And a little exasperated at how the man tried to take care of him. "Of course there was yelling. You try watching the Gunners without yelling at them." Merlin stood there and didn't move. "Gunners. Arsenal? The Premiership? Football?" Merlin was still staring and Sean realized that this might be out of Merlin's general range of knowledge. "Okay there is a sport called football. It is played on a pitch. I play it, and Percival does too, remember? Harry still is banished to the car because of his general perviness?" He was getting concerned the way Merlin was looking and him and his scent was almost excited. "Merlin?"

"You are a Gooner?" Merlin breathed out and looked like a kid at Christmas.

"Yeah, since I was 8," Sean said automatically and then paused, "Wait, you said Gooner."

They stared at each other in one blink became the most in sync they had since the day they met. "Come with me," Merlin said and they went to the top floor and down the hall. "Harry insisted this abomination, as he called it, never get too close to the rest of the house, lest it infect it." Merlin opened the door and turned on the light.

Sean could have wept. "It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life." 

Merlin put his gun on the red table by the door. "Some of the signs are from the old pitch. Paid a fortune for them at auction."

There were signs on the wall, jerseys, old posters, recliners in front of a huge telly. It was a fan's dream room that they were never allowed to put together if they had a family, it would drive everyone spare. But in this house there was the space and the money. Sean walked slowly around the room as Merlin put on the match and examined on the pieces in there. "Fuck me, Merlin."

"No, I only fuck Eggsy, but we will be spending more time together now." Merlin clapped his hands together. "I have season's tickets."

"I've never seen you go to a match."

"Give them away as gifts mostly. But I did believe that one day, the good lord would provide me with a friend. A true companion and I would use some of those tickets for myself."

"What about Eggsy, surely he's gone with you at least a few times." Sean was worried when Merlin's scent took a dive.

"He isn't that interested and if he does watch," Merlin had to take a deep breath and his eyes were almost watering, "He supports Chelsea."

Sean felt his jaw drop, "the bastard." He didn't think, just pulled Merlin into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry that you have to break your bond with him."

Merlin laughed a little. "He's too perfect otherwise. So I endure my endless torment."

"Tell the truth, you thought about it for a second, didn't you?"

Merlin nodded and they settled into the recliners and watched the inevitable defeat of their team.

*******************************

"Darling why are you getting dressed?" Michelle asked. "I thought we were staying in today?" He was pulling something out of the closet. "Is that a jersey?"

"It is," Sean replied and put on a pair of old and comfortable jeans that only had a couple rips in them. He went to the bathroom and styled his hair. "Going into the city with Merlin. We'll be back tonight after the -"

Michelle put it altogether. "Oh lord, is he dragging you to a footie match? You can say no to him."

Sean looked at her like he didn't even know her. "Are you serious?[ I've looked up his seats.](http://gravesdiggers.tumblr.com/post/84754567518/rupert-graves-and-mark-strong-spotted-today) I'd sell you to the circus to sit in those seats."

"Wait are you a Gumby too?"

"I think I fell out of love with you, just a little."

Michelle would not laugh at her husband. She would not. "You are right, I'm sorry. It's Gummies innit?"

"I know you are poking fun, but words hurt my dear. Words hurt and now I'm not bringing you back a toy surprise." Sean went over and kissed her anyways, because he still mostly loved her.

"You two have fun with your Goobers," she told him, "Daisy and I will be doing some arts and crafts."

Sean did not dignify that with a response just hurried downstairs when he heard the car honk. Eggsy was spinning Max around in the air and Zoe was jumping trying to catch his feet. "No running away with my mate, yeah?" Eggsy told him. "I know how you old blokes get emotional over footie. No being a floozy because your team scores or whatever."

"I would only put out if we won," Sean told him.

Eggsy snorted, "Well my relationship is completely safe then. Go on before he wears out the horn."

Sean gave Max's head a quick kiss and hugged Zoe and ran out to the car. Merlin had them blasted down the lane before he was even buckled in. "Excited are we?"

"I feel like I am cheating on Harry!" Merlin was shouting and his scent was high.

"You mean your husband, Eggsy," Sean corrected.

"No, that is mate and love and happy ever after. Footie match with a bloke? That is best friend cheating territory." Merlin knew where all the cops in town were likely to be and decided to risk the ticket. "He is going to be pouty for three days that we went out and bonded."

"Percival will distract him, and you and I will never be you two."

"I know, but he is so dramatic."

Sean was gripping the door, "Because you are so mellow."

"I know!" Merlin started singing some team chants and Sean prayed they would make it to the stadium and then joined in.

They were not so far gone they got their faces painted. But they did get new scarves and pins to wear. They settled into their seats with a couple beers and far too much food and Merlin's happy scent had every omega in their section looking to him and then at Sean with some envy and even jealousy. "Oi, he just smells like that because he has a friend to go to footie with. Eyes on the pitch." Most people turned away but Sean caught a couple winks in his direction and rolled his eyes. "Right then," he asked Merlin, "Favourite player all time?"

Merlin looked pained, "Don't make me choose."

"Gun to your head, who are you picking?"

"Tony Adams," Merlin said after a few painful minutes. "Talk about steadfast."

"You are wrong but there are worse picks."

Merlin bumped his shoulder against Sean's, "Who's your's then?" They bickered about players and team history until the match got properly going and then they were both incredibly focused on the game and the fact that the stars aligned and their Gunners didn't completely suck that day. "Sean?"

"Hmm?" Sean groaned. "Oh my god, my kid wouldn't have missed that shot." He shook his head, that was more like the team he loved.

"You are happy with us right? You don't want your space back?" Merlin took a sip of his beer and stared at the pitch.

"The pack is exhausting, and annoying, and Harry does not understand personal boundaries. I still can't fathom the money you lot have -"

"We lot," Merlin almost couldn't be heard over the crowd. "It's we lot, Sean. The money is yours too."

"Which I still don't get, why you give so much even after I've rejected you."

"Because you are family, Sean. I don't need to put a scar on your neck to feel that in my heart."

"You really are a brilliant alpha," Sean said. He would have said more but bloody Arsenal actually scored. "Holy shit, did you see that?" They both got on their feet and everyone was singing. When they sat back down and Merlin threw his arm over Sean's shoulder, Sean didn't object. "Merlin, I wouldn't take my space back no matter how much someone paid me. No matter if a wizard said he could make it so our boys down there actually won the league."

Merlin scowled at him, "A bloody wizard offers you that, you fucking take it and just move back in after they've won."

Sean had to kiss his jaw, just a small one. "Okay, I promise."

"Damn right," Merlin muttered and they spilled food and beer and Sean bought Daisy a souvenir and they went home happy as good be even though of course Arsenal lost. They picked up some food on the way home for everyone and at dinner Sean had to laugh at the way Harry glared every time Merlin extolled how great the day had been.

"Are you two going again?" Harry asked stiffly.

Merlin leaned over and nuzzled his pack bite and whispered quietly to him and then Harry's posture finally relaxed.

Eggsy sighed, "You know you are lucky I'm not the jealous sort, and know that I am the love of your life. Having to compete with Harry, computers, footie, and now Sean? However do you manage to find time for little old me?" 

Merlin gave him a smoldering look. "My omega, I will always have time for you."

"Good, change Max's arse, he's soggy." Eggsy handed off the baby that had been in his lap and making an unholy mess with the peas. "Glad you blokes had fun."

"We did," Sean replied. It was a bit of a shock that he had had so much fun with Merlin, just them. But they'd have to go to a game again.

That night after he tucked Daisy in, Sean went to his room and froze in the door when he saw Michelle wearing only his jersey. "Hey Gooner," she told him and stretched and the jersey went up and up.

"Fucking hell, today is the best day ever." Sean made sure to lock the door before he went over to her. He was going to buy Michelle a million jerseys.


	9. Early Days of Bonded Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set a few months after Harry and Percival have bonded

"Harry, you bastard!" 

Harry turned and smiled. "God heaven's, Evans I thought you were barred from England." He went and hugged the man stepping out of line at the cafe.

"No, just didn't want to see your ugly mug. Not Merlin you know, can't tolerate seeing all that blech," Evans grinned. "But business alas brought me home."

"Join me," Harry said immediately. "Just a quick lunch, now and a longer dinner in a couple days."

"Sounds good," Evans agreed and they caught up as they got back in line. Harry ordered and insisted he would pay for Evans as well. "Lot of food there Harry, eating for two?" Evans snorted.

"No, another will be joining us for lunch. There are in fact a couple of other people who can tolerate my face," Harry smiled. They moved to the side and waited.

"Hoooollllly shit, Harry did you get yourself mated?" Evans stared at him in shock. "What fool omega took you on?"

"Not an omega," Harry replied and took his tray and Evans grabbed his and they walked through the cafe, Harry clearly headed to a table.

"Shit, you and Merlin didn't actually bond did you? I know you are that mental pack of two but that would be a bit much Harry."

Harry stopped at a table and his scent just radiated happiness. "No, I'm not bonded to Merlin, I'm bonded to Percival." He put the tray down and moved a little to the side. "Percival, this is Evans. We went to uni together. He is a complete waste of air, but since her majesty frowns even on mercy killings, I have let him live."

Percival smiled faintly. "A pleasure to meet you."

"I am in shock," Evans said. He put down his tray and held out his hand. "Did you hit your head, is he drugging you? Blink twice if you need an escape." He roared with laughter when Percival slowly blinked twice. "Okay, I already like you."

"I am thrilled," Percival replied and sat down. He took the pesto chicken salad from the tray.

"That was mine," Harry replied.

"Yes but it looks better than I expected and you owe me for messing up the sock drawer."

Harry growled a bit and Percival just kicked him and Harry sat down with the sandwich that Percival had in fact ordered. "Oh this is better. I should have ordered this."

"See, it all worked out." Percival looked at Evans. "So what is it you do?" 

The conversation was genial and mostly between Harry and his old friend as they ate and made plans for a proper dinner later in the week. Percival excused himself to answer a phone call. "So where do you two live?" Evans asked.

"The three of us are at the estate of course," Harry said, "wait until you meet our daughter. Fire, pure fire, you'll love her."

"Where's Merlin then?"

"Out at the estate?" Harry replied a little lost. "Where else would he be?"

"Well come on," Evans looked between them. "Less than a year bonded. Sure you are that weird pack with Merlin but you can't be how you are with him now that you have a mate." Evans shook his head. "Harry, you know you have to focus all your energies on him. You can't do that thing where you and Merlin forget the rest of the world exists."

"Percival is pack too," Harry said a little weakly.

"Harry, I promise you, he doesn't like it but he loves you enough not to say anything. Just...take my advice, I was always better at romance than you, you need to switch your allegiances. Give your time to that Percival of yours, not Merlin." Evans smiled. "You'll thank me for this."

"Of course," Harry said. Evans made his excuses and waved goodbye when he walked by Percival. Harry was smelling sad when Percival returned to the table. 

"Darling, you'll see him again in a couple days," Percival reassured him.

"Do you wish I spent more time with you?" Harry blurted out.

Percival smiled and nuzzled Harry just a little bit. "Always," he said.

"Okay," Harry nodded. That was that. He would make everything right.

***********************************************

Percival was hiding in the attic. It was just dusty enough that he was pretty sure Harry would find him in there, and he had left a false trail. He texted Merlin and begged him to meet him in the attic and to not let Harry know what was going on. He waited hidden under a sheet on a surprisingly comfy chaise. He wondered if they should bring it downstairs. It felt like it might be lovely for an occasional nap. The door creaked open and he didn't even dare breathe. 

"Percival?" 

"Is he with you, Merlin?"

"No," Merlin sounded short. "Why would he be with me, I barely see him these days."

Percival came out from under the sheet. "I know and I need to ask what you did that Harry is avoiding you and spending all his time with me."

"I did?" Merlin moved into the room and growled. "He said you didn't like how he and I were, and that he needed to spend more time with you and significantly less with me."

"When the fuck did I say that?" Percival was shocked. "Merlin why would I take the love of your life away from you?"

"Because he's the love of your life?" Merlin looked hollow. "You are his mate that matters most."

"No, it doesn't," Percival went over. "Jesus, Merlin, you look like shit. How have I not noticed?"

'Well you were hiding in the attic under a sheet," Merlin said. "I haven't been sleeping well. Been a couple weeks since Harry crawled into bed."

"I am well aware. He has started to snuggle me more, Merlin. Always touching and scenting and being attentive. He got his budget in on time Merlin. ON TIME AND IN ACCEPTABLE PARAMETERS. I want my Harry back, yelling at him about the budget is my favourite thing."

"I know it is," Merlin agreed, "You love it a lot."

"I do, it leads to excellent sex. And that, he's been all alphay." Percival was grumbly. "Haven't fucked him since...Evans." 

"Oh lord, that explains it." Merlin's scent was better now that there was an explanation. "Good man, but never understand me and Harry and now that Harry is mated he would expect us to be all normal."

"Well who would want that, we work fine as we are," Percival was quiet put out by all this.

Merlin went over and pressed his nose against Percival's pack bite. "Forgive me for the very poor thoughts I have been having about you."

"You had them because Harry is a moron, which really we know and yet continually forget." Percival hugged Merlin tightly. "I like the way we are."

"I do too."

"There you are, Percival, so happy to see you, I missed you," Harry said cheerfully. "Merlin," he added.

"Oh my god, enough!" Percival shouted. "That sounded so fake. You are as sick of me, as I am of you. Stop this at once, and go play with axes or something with Merlin."

"But you are my mate."

"And he is your soul and you two are withering without each other, and I need a fucking break from all your attention, Harry," Percival snapped and then sighed when Harry immediately smelled wounded. "Merlin a minute, maybe go prep some toys."

Merlin gave them a nod and left the attic. Percival went and sat on the chaise and gestured for Harry to come over. Harry hovered by the door and Percival went and dragged him over. "Alpha, you are a mess."

"I am perfectly tidy," Harry protested.

"What did your friend say to you?"

"Nothing," Harry replied. "Just that maybe I need to shift my priorities."

"Why?"

Harry looked at him. "Because we are mates."

"And have been for months, and dated for months and months before that," Percival said. "I knew how you and Merlin were. Have I ever expressed a problem with that."

"You said you wished I spent more time with you."

"Ahh," Percival realized he had walked into the wrong words at the wrong time. "I was just being romantic, Harry."

"Can you be romantic with your pdfs and not words, they make more sense from you?"

Percival had to kiss him. "I can. Harry an old school friend, who has spent no time as a couple with us, should have this much influence on you."

"It was a concern of mine, perhaps buried deep down that you would feel neglected by my relationship with Merlin."

"Harry, I am not neglected, or resentful, or upset. I am grateful."

"Grateful I crawl into another man's bed after I make love with you?"

"Grateful that you have someone with you, who can understand the fears that prey on your mind in the dark of night. Grateful that you two carry each other so well. Grateful that a relationship that strong is at the core of our pack." Percival leaned his head on Harry's shoulder. "I know you love me. I know how important I am to you. And I love spending time with you, but if you don't cut this lovey dovey needy shit out, I will murder you in your sleep."

Harry had to laugh. "I am so sick of you."

"God, I am sick of you too." Percival's words didn't really match the way he nuzzled Harry. "So you are going to go work out with Merlin and then tonight, I'm going to fuck you, and if you need it, you go crawl into his bed, okay?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed and pulled Percival close. "This was stupid."

"No, it was very sweet. But we are our own, we don't need the opinions of perfectly nice people. No one in this pack is perfectly nice."

"That is true." Harry kissed his head and bolted for the stairs to go play with Merlin. Percival crawled back under the sheet and had a nap.

***************************************

"Ye could have showered before you crawled in, you smell like Percival spunk."

"I know," Harry said, "Best smell ever," and rested his head on Merlin's heart.

Merlin rested his hand on Harry's pack bite and they both slept well for the first time in two weeks.


	10. Call it Making Love Again and I'll Punch You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> early in the days of Eggsy and Merlin. set some place during their courtship. 
> 
> This is happy smut people, in the sex dungeon that has regularly been mentioned

"Percival's pdf didn't lie," Eggsy stood in the room on the garden level and looked around. He froze a little at the small growl that came out of Merlin. "And what is that about?"

"No insulting the pack, Percival will lie to your face, but never in a pdf. If he told you we had a sex dungeon then clearly we have a sex dungeon."

Eggsy had to laugh a little and went over to Merlin. "You know you lot say the weirdest sentences ever don't you? You were offending that I insulted a man's pdfs. While we stand in an actual factual sex dungeon. Merlin think about that."

"I take care of my pack, and his pdfs are important to him, he made Harry fall in love with him because of those pdfs." Merlin had to pause and think. "It was mostly wearing the tie, but the pdfs helped."

"How about we stop talking about files and talk about the sex dungeon, yeah?" Eggsy had learned enough to know you had to pull the plug when Merlin's eyes glazed and he was clearly searching his memory which was spotty at best for things that were not on a very select list. Eggsy started to walk around the room. "Not really evil and dungeony is it?" It almost looked like a parlour at first glance. The walls were a soft green and there was a sofa and a couple old wingback chairs that looked rather cozy. But then you noticed the saddle and the bench, the mirror that took up a whole wall and some hooks and loops on the wall across from the mirror. And a very large wardrobe and several attractive and sturdy looking storage benches. "Where's that door lead to?" Eggsy pointed.

"A small ensuite, tiny shower, tinier sink and bog. I rather insisted on that addition, Harry is far too pleased to smell like Percival spunk. Use of sex dungeon requires cleaning up of your personage and the room."

"But not all sex happens in here. I mean, we've been having sex for almost a month and my first time down here."

"We have plenty of sex where we know the others could hear us, or we could be interrupted, but down here," Merlin was thinking how to say it. "There is no pack? You don't poke your nose in down here if it is occupied."

"That's why the sign on the door?" Eggsy asked.

"It is a space that wholly belongs to the couple, and as much as we tease each other, no one ever asks what you do in this room."

Eggsy felt something click in his brain. "This is the one completely private space in the whole of the giant ass house."

"Yes, that," Merlin said and came over to him. "Would ye like some privacy, Eggsy?"

"With you?" Eggsy wrapped his arms around Merlin's neck and wen to his toes. "Why yes, alpha, I believe I would." He grinned at the very different growl that came from Merlin's throat at being called alpha. He was very careful not to say my alpha, that would move things along a little too quickly, but the words certainly floated through his head. Eggsy pulled Merlin's mouth to his and they snogged a little in the middle of the room. "So, babe, there anything in here that you particularly enjoy?"

"I've read the catalogue and there are a couple things."

Eggsy looked at him. "Merlin you've used the room before, I don't mind. Everyone has a past."

"Aye, but they were all at the flat, and remember it was a very long time before you came into my life. I've not been in here beyond when the space was being renovated. I could like tying you up, I would think." Merlin frowned. "And other things? Christ has it been so bloody long that I've forgotten how to kink?"

Eggsy snickered at that a bit. "You said catalogue."

Merlin went to one of the wingback chairs and Eggsy came and sat on his lap. He made sure to grind down a little bit and enjoyed the scent that was beginning to radiate off Merlin. Nothing made his slick start to leak than the scent of Merlin growing aroused. He had always thought alpha-as were gross, but Merlin was intoxicating, it was rich but not overwhelming. Okay a little bit overwhelming but in the best ways. Sink into them and never leave ways. He blinked when something was put in his hand. It was a binder and when he opened it all the pages were laminated. "Percival?"

"Harry got him a laminator machine for his birthday a few years ago. He hugged it for three hours," Merlin smiled at the memory. "Go on, let's see what appeals aye?" The flipped through the book, Merlin's hand under Eggsy's shirt and rubbing his back and his nose regularly scenting Eggsy. Eggsy pointed out a few things that interested him and Merlin added a couple.

"Says here everyone is also allowed one private chest, on the east wall." Eggsy looked over and there was a grey chest with these teal fittings. "That's Roxy and Tilde, and the brown leather is Harry and Percival. No chest for you yet. Sad. Poor Merlin no private sex box in the private dungeon." Eggsy had to tease just a little.

Merlin dumped Eggsy off his lap and onto the ground and stood up. From this angle Merlin looked almost menacing. He growled and stepped a little forward and Eggsy shivered. "My oh my, I'm rather helpless down here, whatever will happen to me?" Eggsy fluttered his lashes and the scooted back a little bit; his grin and happy scent not matching the words.

"Many things," Merlin promised and sank to the ground and crawled towards Eggsy and fuck if that wasn't the hottest thing Eggsy had seen, all that alpha strength and power coming slowly for him. "Would you like me to do many things to you?"

"Fuck yeah," Eggsy agreed. "Perhaps with the leather cuffs, item E-25 found in box 2 second tray, and holy fuck Percival's use of order is great for fucking."

"Pay that compliment to him later." Merlin went to the boxes next to the wardrobe and sure enough the nice leather cuffs were there. He turned back and in the 30 seconds Eggsy had managed to get completely naked. "Impressive." Merlin nodded his head to the wall. "Come here, baby."

Eggsy hurried over and in a tick found his arms above his head the cuffs hung over a hook. He looked across the way and saw a bit of himself but mostly Merlin's back. He winked at Merlin and swung his legs so that they pulled Merlin in, wrapped tight around his waist. "Now I could be very into this."

Merlin nodded and began to kiss and nip at his neck, careful to never fully bite. Eggsy let his head fall back against the wall so that Merlin could that as much as he wanted, Eggsy's neck was so sensitive, even more since Merlin and he had started fucking. He whimpered a little as Merlin stopped but he realized that Merlin was kneeling and Eggsy's legs were now on his shoulders. His head didn't fall against the wall, but banged against it when Merlin began to lick the slick from his hole; curses streamed from his lips. "Fucking hell, Merlin. Logan, please," Eggsy begged. He didn't know if he was begging for Merlin to stop or keep going. Merlin licked at his cock and then started to suck and Eggsy watched them in the Merlin and it short circuited his brain enough that he had to close his eyes and just feel. 

Merlin let Eggsy's cock fall from his mouth and he smiled at how blissed out Eggsy looked. He also really enjoyed the way the cuffs and hook stretched Eggsy out. "Oh, Eggsy, look at you."

"Busy have the best dream ever," Eggsy whispered and wouldn't open his eyes. 

Merlin stripped off his clothes and moved close again and put Eggsy's legs around his waist. Eggsy pulled him close and rolled his hips. "More," Merlin whispered and helped the hook support Eggsy by holding his arse tight. Eggsy kept rolling his hips and grinding against Merlin until Merlin moved one of the hands to push two fingers into Eggsy, the slick dripping enough that it was an easy push. He rocked the fingers in and out a little, and then adjusted their bodies to push his cock into Eggsy; the angle was a bit awkward and he went slowly but soon he was seated all the way. 

They were both flushed and sweating a little, and Merlin didn't move but rather moved Eggsy back and forth on his cock. Eggsy helped, rocking his hips, using the hook for leverage. It started slow but they both began to push it faster, harder, until Merlin cursed and pushed his growing knot into Eggsy. It was all Merlin could do not to bite Eggsy as the orgasm rolled through him. He moved a hand to stroke Eggsy's cock and it was only a minute before Eggsy spilled into his hand. Merlin licked it clean and aftershocks rolled through him at the taste of the omega he wanted more than anything. They stared at each other with glazed and happy eyes.

"Your legs are going to cramp if we stay standing like this," Eggsy pointed out.

Merlin undid the cuffs and carried Eggsy over to the sofa and lay down, with Eggsy on top of him. He kicked the lid off the bench by the sofa and pulled a soft quilt over them.

"Me love sex dungeon. Good sex dungeon," Eggsy slurred through a yawn. "More sex dungeon."

"We can have all the fun you want down here."

"Own box, many toys," Eggsy said and yawned again. "You ever wear an alpha ring?" He fell asleep before Merlin could answer and Merlin started a shopping list in his mind for their private box.


	11. Attempted Loopholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunter is 11

The kids were all supposedly watching a movie in the family room, and it was the right level of quiet that the adults believed they were actually in the room and maybe paying attention to the movie. Sean and Michelle had taken Daisy into the city to go see a musical and the others were just having a drink and a moment of quiet together.

"Please get off of Merlin's lap," Roxy begged Eggsy. 

"We aren't making a baby here," Eggsy said, "I'm just sitting. Dressed." He snuggled into Merlin who did not object to being squished by his omega.

Tilde laughed and climbed into Roxy's lap and nuzzled, "Better, yes?"

"Much," Roxy growled.

Harry looked at his mate.

Percival had an ice pack on his thigh from over doing it at footie. "If you crawl into my lap, I will stab you," he warned Harry.

Harry was debating whether it was worth it or not, when they all heard the boom and the house shake. Percival was the first up, and running, adrenaline ignoring his pulled muscle. They all tore down the halls in the direction of the sound and all saw a cloud of dust from the family room.

Merlin's growl was terrifying as he went into the room, ready for fire, to pull the kids to safety. It took a moment to realize that he had not gone into the room through the door but the 3 metre high and two metre wide hole in the wall. There was no fire but there were children covered in dry wall bits and dust and Hunter standing there with some sort of box in hand. "Safety report!" Merlin shouted.

Max was hiding behind Zoe and Izzy was next to Hunter. Somehow in the corner the youngest two James and Layla had slept through the commotion. "Hi, Dad," Hunter said and gave a wave. "Look it worked!"

"Pride is not the right response currently," Percival suggested hanging onto his calm by a thread. "Please explain yourself."

"Well I had this idea and you know how Zoe is at implementing ideas."

"I do," Merlin gave a look to his eldest who met him square on, but tilted her neck. "But that is not an explanation for the missing wall."

"See, loophole." Hunter seemed to think that explained it all and the other kids all nodded along.

Harry gave a small warning growl. "Details, now."

Hunter looked at his Dad. "You said, you always say no taking any weapons off the wall until you are 13."

"And?" all the adults said.

"Not breaking the rule if there is no wall," Hunter offered. He figured the stunned look on all the adult faces would morph into pride soon and continued. "See we didn't use explosives, but frequencies. Right frequency pressed to certain locations and the drywall sort of just was supposed to fall apart. But we may have over wired it and it well..." Hunter smiled. "Zoe was clever thinking of that huh?"

"Real clever," Eggsy managed to choke out.

Tilde looked at her daughter, "Izzy, what was your part in this?"

"Me?" Izzy widened her eyes. She shrank a little at her alpha's growl. "I may have been...a cheerleader."

"Means you came up with the idea and planted it in minds."

"All she said was there had to be a way around the rule. I figured that out, and Zoe created the means."

"You three will go get mops, and buckets and rubbish bags, while we talk," Percival told them. "Start cleaning, without touching a single weapon."

"The axes aren't actually attached to a wall, we could touch them," Hunter pointed out. He pouted a bit when Merlin picked them up. He would have fussed but one growl had him hanging his head. "Sorry, alpha."

"Hmm," Merlin said and they all went across the hall and closed the door.

Percival looked at Harry and Merlin. "If either of you, for a second, even contemplate being proud of them, we will destroy you."

"Three," Roxy said and moved beside Harry and Merlin, "Because I'm a little proud."

Percival glared at her. "Betrayed by my child for her brother."

"To be fair is as much about the fact that you know Izzy is the real mastermind," Roxy offered and no matter her age and designation, the glare her father gave her had her ducking her shoulders a bit.

"I want to know how they did it," Merlin said. "That required -"

"Do not even," Eggsy warned. "You do not pick Zoe's brain about how she rigged it."

"But I've barely taught her soldering; this should have been all theoretical for her not practical," Merlin was almost whining. "I need to build her a proper workstation."

"She's grounded until she's 18, you have time," Eggsy snapped.

Tilde just stood there shaking her head.

Percival moved closer to Harry. "You do not get to be proud of Hunter right now."

"Come on, darling that was a brilliant loophole."

"He is eleven and blew up our family room to get an ax!" Percival yelled. "That isn't even an introductory weapon."

"Those axes in there, are fake, Merlin and I replaced them with copies years ago," Harry said. "The real ones are in the gym. In a locked cabinet, with biometric scan."

"That is good, but it does not make what he tried to do less serious, because he thought they were real," Percival hissed. "Harry, you and I have had a lot of fights over the years, but you cannot go in there and be proud. This is serious. They are children, no matter how clever - children, and they could have been seriously injured. If you do not go in united with me, there is no make up sex, no buying your way out of this. You go in there and act like this is good -"

"I know it isn't," Harry promised Percival. "I will go with you and we will be extremely stern and punishment will be handed out that will be very burdensome. I am with you, and agree with you. I promise."

"Okay," Percival sighed in relief. "Very well, you have one minute to be proud."

Harry almost bounced. "That was bloody brilliant. To think that way around the problem, and the working together, without any of us catching them? That is some superior subterfuge."

"I was never that good," Roxy agreed, "It is the numbers, they fill out each other's weaknesses. Amazing."

"Zoe and I are going to have so much fun with wires," Merlin said dreamily.

"Did you see?" Tilde said, "they put a blast blanket on the youngest. It had ducks on it."

"They avoided the support beams, means they found the house plans, really put a lot of thought into it," Eggsy added and they all looked at him. "Wot? I'm sorry, but come on, this was grade A insanity. Have to give it a little credit. Even you, Percival."

"4, 3, 2, 1, minute is up, so I most certainly do not," Percival said. "All of you, and I cannot believe I have to include Tilde and Eggsy in this. Adult up, no giving in to puppy eyes or sad scents. They took down a wall to gain access to forbidden objects." Percival opened the door and hobbled across the hall where the kids were cleaning. "We need to talk, you will not enjoy this talk."

"Yes, sir," all the kids replied and stood in a row.

"Good, let us begin." Percival began a 40 minute lecture and then supervised the clean up. Allowances would be garnished, grounding would occur, weapons training was moved to 14. And Percival would never ever admit that he was a little impressed with what the kids had done. 


End file.
